Where Were You?

I was in Tulsa working for WilTel. I had just arrived at work. I thought the early call just after 8 was to say happy birthday but it was to tell me the first tower had been hit. We watched the live feed from the BBC at our desks. I will never forget the look on my coworker Russell’s face when the first towers came down.
A few minutes after the Pentagon was hit, I got a call from my grandmother saying my Aunt Cindy, who was fighting cancer, was going into hospice care and we all needed to get to California.
I couldn’t book a flight until later in the week. When I could book, I got the first flight I could get out of Tulsa which was the Monday after 9/11.
My heart was breaking and I felt helpless. I needed to do something to help fix it. Watching the coverage and remembering the Oklahoma City bombing, I got the idea that we good get things to support the K-9 search and rescue teams. Within 24 hours, I had support from to Junior League of Tulsa to do arrive, I had a contact with the search and rescue teams NY and a list of their needs and my phone was ringing with calls from local media. Over the next week, supplies flooded the JLT headquarters, more than we imagined. Turned out there were a lot of people who were hurting and wanted to do something.
The Saturday night before I was to leave, I dreamed my Aunt Cindy walked out of a fog and gave me a big hug then turned and walked away. My mom called the next morning to say she passed away that night.
They took so many things from us but personally they took my chance to say good bye to my aunt and forever changed my birthday.
Today I know my dream was my good bye and I’ve learned to shrug off the comments people make when I tell them my birthday. My parents always treated birthdays as a person’s very special day. I’ve tried to keep it that way and try separate the events in my mind.
But today I’m angry and I’m sad as the memories of the fear, the shock and the mourning come back. My aunt did not die as a result of the attacks on 9/11 but for me the two will always be tied to together. Again I feel that the need for something good to come out of all the this. Maybe, it’s as simple as aknowleding and letting go. Maybe that’s the best thing we can do today.

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